“What Was I Showing Off?”

I remembe that evening with a gentle smile—how ordinary it felt to curl up in my cozy living room, a soft lamp casting a warm glow across the walls. My rented apartment in a luxurious Colombo complex had become my little sanctuary, despite the turmoil beneath its calm surface.

Inside, though, I felt anything but at peace. Tragic family losses and crushing business setbacks had hollowed me out, and I clung to every fragment of dignity I could find. So when I tapped my phone to order dinner, it was more than a craving for spicy sambol and steaming rice—it was a lifeline.

When the doorbell finally rang, the Uber driver appeared—wind-blown, weary from threading Colombo’s snarled streets—holding my meal in his hands. In that instant, a strange thrill bubbled up: He must see me as someone who has it all, living here like a queen, ordering in as if I didn’t have a care. I even caught myself smiling at the notion that I was “showing off.”

But then I paused and asked myself: What was I really showing off?

• Was it the marble foyer of my building or the price tag on my takeout?

• Or was it the illusion that I could still command respect, even when my world felt like it was falling apart?

In that quiet moment, I realized I wasn’t parading wealth—I was desperately parading worth. I’d turned vulnerability into a spectacle, hoping someone—anyone—would notice I still mattered.

And why?

• Was I proving I wasn’t defined by tragedy?

• Or hiding from the truth that I felt utterly unmoored?

I looked up at the driver’s tired eyes as he handed me the bag. There was no envy, no judgment—just routine kindness. And suddenly, I understood: the only audience for my bravado was me. My performance had nothing to do with him.

That night, I learned that when we show off our “perfect” moments, we’re often masking our deepest fears. True validation doesn’t come from a delivery fee or a luxurious address—it comes from honoring our own story and saying, I am still here.

So next time you catch yourself “showing off,” pause and ask: What am I really trying to prove, and to whom

A comforting experience during tough times.

Samantha

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